This weekend, the Downtown Irish Club hosted their annual St Patrick’s Day practice parade (the real thing will roll Monday the 17th at 6 PM, starting at Piety and Burgundy) at Markey’s Bar in the Bywater. Naturally, in addition to the parade practice, spirited patrons and club members squeezed in some party practice. And as all trial endeavors go — the practice event served as a reminder of a few (un)official laws of St. Paddy’s in New Orleans to keep in mind for the actual day:
It’s the one day (or weekend, rather) of the year when unnaturally green foods are not necessarily 24 hour commitments to food poisoning hell.
It’s always the ones you don’t suspect who get over-ambitious.
“Hello, United? We’re going to need a cab for someone who’s been drinking from their sippy cup since 10 AM.”
Though timely and puny, Pot-O-Gold portable toilet company, you aren’t fooling anyone.
Mardi Gras beads haven’t been laying all over your yard for the past week-and-a-half because you’re lazy; you’ve been waiting to recycle them on St. Patrick’s Day.
Sometimes “temporary” hair color ends up being less temporary than you thought. (Man in the photograph, we await your report back.)
You can also wear a green blazer without looking like you should be working a craps table.
And your sequined sweater from Christmas 1992.
Friends who go green together stay together.
But if green isn’t your color or you hate your friends, well — beer.
Chelsea Lee is associate editor at NolaVie. Email comments to her at firstname.lastname@example.org.