Meet: AirPnP. You know the situation too well — you fling open a shoddy plastic door equipped with a nonfunctional lock, piles of toilet paper covering the floor (you reassure yourself it hasn’t been used) as the smell of Tijuana fills your nostrils. A horse stall would have been a vast improvement but you use the porta potty any way because a) you’re above wet pants and b) you’re too fragile for Central Lock Up.
Enter AirPnP. The web-based app allows bathroom-hunters to locate privately owned restrooms usable for a fee.Each listing includes pricing info, user reviews, and descriptions (everything from “hippie toilet paper” to “a friendly cat Toby who might meow at you” to a vaguely-defined $10 “drop your kids off at the pool” [while you pee, I’m hoping] deal). Conversely, for the entrepreneurial-minded, the app allows people willing to rent out their bathrooms (and, in one case, their pool and baby-sitting skills) to make some extra cash.
Eat: From the Cleaver and Co Mardi Gras Parade menu. There’s nothing quite like trying to navigate a crowded neutral ground with an overflowing basket of loaded cheese fries; this year, don’t be the jerk who drops a glob of debris on the head of an unsuspecting toddler.
Through Fat Tuesday, butcher shop Cleaver & Co. (3917 Baronne) is offering a take-out menu of parade-friendly foods (links of hot boudin, quarter pound bags of cracklin’s, pints of chicken and andouille gumbo and more) that won’t mix poorly to the standing, walking, and body-to-body traffic typical of parade activities. The shop, just two blocks from the St. Charles parade route, will be open daily from 11 AM – 7 PM (5 PM on Sunday). Prices from $4-7.
Drink: The Hemingway Daiquiri. If Mardi Gras were a religion, the daiquiri would be the holy water and the Quarter would be the house of worship.When you’re ready to keep the faith, forgo the over-priced styrofoam jugs of fluorescent rubbing alcohol from Daiquiri Row on Bourbon, also known as Tourist Town USA, and supplement with the Hemingway Daiquiri ($5) from Tiki Tolteca, the tiki bar (now open 6 days a week) above Felipe’s on Decatur. Dissimilar from its Bourbon Street counterparts, this drink — a mix of Old New Orleans Crystal Rum, Wraye & Nephew Rum, and Maraschino liquor — doesn’t contain the evils of diesel and family, so you won’t be catastrophically hungover the next morning.
I mean really, which seems smarter: drinking a glass of Hemingway or a cup of Antifreeze?
Wear: Dress pant yoga pants. Last week sweat pant jeans, now this — life is good. How often do you wake up thinking “If only I didn’t have to wear pants into the office today.”? These pants are as close as you’ll ever get to actualizing this dream — without being fired, of course.
Betabrand, the San Francisco-based clothing company also responsible for the “executive hoodie,” releases their miracle hybrid pant mid-March. The pants are made of the stretchy rayon blend typical of most yoga pants, deceptively cut with a straight-leg fit and styled with faux zippers, belt loops, nonfunctional pockets, and a button to give illusively mimic the appearance of dress slacks. Available for pre-order (79.20) in black, gray and navy. Either work just got more casual or yoga got fancier; hopefully both.
Laugh: Spotted inside Lucy’s:
…Because parade traffic.
Chelsea Lee is associate editor at NolaVie. Email comments to her at firstname.lastname@example.org.