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Introducing the (un)Official Olympics Drinking Game

The 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi are in full gear, but I haven’t yet fully embraced the competition with the same vigor as I did for the 2012 summer games in London (I still want to hang out with Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor).

Maybe it’s because, as a native New Orleanian, I have no idea what a triple toe loop is or why anyone would willingly jump off a ski platform at speeds of nearly 60 miles per hour (but I appreciate the fact that at least women finally get to compete in this endeavor as well). And don’t even get me started on the merits of curling (giant shuffleboard on ice?) because I am simply baffled by the sport.

I’m also hesitant to support an Olympic games that is so marred in controversy, due in large part by the actions of the host country (anti-gay laws and the ordered killing of stray dogs are not OK). However, the athletes, who have trained tirelessly for years for this moment, should not be penalized for the actions of the games’ organizers. Therefore, I plan to watch the Olympic coverage for them (and maybe because I’m a total sucker for those emotional back stories).

Therefore, in order to increase my enthusiasm for the winter games I have decided to marry my Olympics-viewing with a famous New Orleans sport … drinking. The peak of the Carnival season is right around the corner, so this training could not come at a better time.

So grab a few friends and get into the Olympic spirt with the help of actual spirits. Bottoms up!

2014 Winter Olympics Drinking Game Rules:

* Select a drink of choice (beer, wine, mixed drink, etc.).

* Whenever one of the following actions occurs, take a sip for the designated amount of time

* Olympic-themed costumes are highly encouraged (for instance, break out that top worn for the ugly Christmas sweater party you attended over the holidays to imitate the official team USA sweater).

1. Every time someone chants “USA! USA!”, drink for two seconds

2. When an athlete’s back story airs, drink for three seconds (if the story causes you to shed a tear, drink for an extra five seconds)

3. If an underdog wins gold, drink for six seconds

4. When an announcer uses a sports term that you’ve never heard of, drink for one second

5. If an athlete wins a medal for his or her third straight Olympics (or more), drink for 8 seconds

6. Drink three seconds for every extra day we have to endure Matt Lauer in place of Bob Costas

7. Whenever the Jamaican bobsled team is shown, drink for 6 seconds (then make a mental note to re-watch Cool Runnings)

8. If an athlete who is 30 years old or older wins a medal, drink for 4 seconds

9. Every time a world record is broken, drink for five seconds

10. Whenever an American athlete wins a gold medal, drink for 10 seconds


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