At Canine Connection‘s BARK-toberfest this weekend, I stumbled upon 14 characters you’re likely to encounter during Halloween.
1-2. The ‘Who wore it better?’ duo.
Spend the rest of the night avoiding each other.
3. The comic book nerd.
He’s not just Spider-Man. He’s Spider-Man from ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ #122.
4. The hipster who didn’t need to dress up.
5. The one who’s already putting up Christmas lights.
Come on, it’s not even Thanksgiving.
6. The high-maintenance one, whose costume you’re not allowed to touch, drink near, or share air space with.
‘My costume was hand-beaded. By nuns. In the Pyrenees.’
7. The one who’s just not that into Halloween.
‘Halloween is just a commercial holiday. Don’t even get me started on Valentine’s Day.’
8. The one who hasn’t moved on from Oktoberfest.
You’ve got to accept it, man. It’s over.
9. The one who ate all the candy before the kids showed up. (Also the one who cleans up his T.P.’d house the next morning.)
Crushing young spirits one wrapper at a time.
10. The one with the unintentionally scary costume.
Hair dryer fights happen to the best of us.
11. The one who rolls out of bed and calls it a ‘costume.’
I’m sorry, this doesn’t count.
12. The one who’s letting it all hang out. (*See also: “Mardi Gras ‘Most Beaded’ listicle.”)
Would you like some costume with that bra?
13. The one with the Napoleon complex.
He thought about going as The Incredible Hulk, but he didn’t want to intimidate people.
The King lives (in a muzzle).
Chelsea Lee is assistant editor of NolaVie. Email comments to her at email@example.com.