Happy New Year! Hope yours was fabulous! Mine was spent mining for gold (at the Gold Mine in case you were confused) with some of my best friends. This was, in fact, a huge step from several years of watching girls crying and running after their boyfriends outside F and M’s.
While there was no midnight kiss (thanks for the reminders, friends), I have been reevaluating my dating life (or lack there of) and came up with some new resolutions to kick off the year. Let’s face it, I was never going to make my triumphant return to the gym, I like he fact that I inject a dangerously unhealthy amount of diet soft drinks, and, kale, you will never be integrated into my diet. Therefore, I am skipping the disappointment and sticking to goals that are attainable this year.
1. Text less and get over my fear of speaking on the phone
If there is anything I learned (again) last year, it is about the trials of starting a relationship fueled by excessive texting. And, how it gets you nowhere.
I am going to get over my fear of actually using the phone to talk (for its purpose, ironically), and keep the texting to a minimum. Also, lets be realistic, random late night texts, holiday messages, and conversations that aren’t followed up with a date invitation, don’t mean anything beyond its simple context.
2. Be more aggressive
I think one of my biggest faults is how passive I’ve become when it comes to boys. Waiting for him to call or even notice my very subtle hints clearly hasn’t worked for me, and it’s very damsel in distress, in fact. I will be waiting forever if I keep trying to figure out if he likes me, if he’ll kiss me, or if I look desperate tweeting at him. And, I am an independent woman of the 21st century, so I should certainly start acting like it by getting some confidence back and going after what I want.
3. Don’t begrudge coupled friends
It’s ok if you’d rather stay in with your husband and watch Katherine Heigl’s latest romantic comedy (p.s. She ends up with that hot guy in the end just in case you were wondering). I won’t roll my eyes at you anymore, because I’ll be having drinks and a delicious meal at Ste. Marie.
4. Date outside the box
They say that the exact definition of insanity is doing the thing over and over again, but expecting different results each time. Well, the same thing holds true for relationships. Dating the same type of guy will only lead to similar outcomes and another broken heart in the end. I might have to date outside the city to find this particular guy though…
5. Don’t go back to 2011 boys
If it didn’t work out in 2011, it’s most likely not going to work out in 2012 either. He’s still the same pig he’s always been, and I have resolutions to uphold and new boys to meet this year.
6. Don’t be so impressionable
I’ve realized that getting overly excited over a text message or thinking that it’s fate when I run into someone twice Is the same week is hardly fate, especially when I can’t exactly walk my dog without running into someone in this town. Frankly, it’s starting to look desperate and I really hope that all my run-ins don’t have any type of significant meaning on my life, or else I have a lot of weddings to start planning.
7. Less analyzing, more fun
Relationships that begin with a lot of analyzing end up being more stressful and confusing than anything. Dating is supposed to be fun. It’s what my married friends should be jealous of rather than looking at me as a reminder of why they got married to begin with. I am going to start taking everything with a grain of salt, enjoy my dates, and let nature takes its course, because I am a firm believer that things always work out as they should.
8. Don’t force what isn’t there
OK, this is where my desperate starts to show a little. Sometimes, we want to force romance when it isn’t there, even when the guy seems perfect in every sense. If he’s cute, smart, nice, but there are no proverbial sparks, I can’t just will it to happen like a magician or assume that it’s just taking a little longer to light. The chemistry will already be there if it’s the right person.
9. Learn more about myself
With every failure, at least I can always be assured that I will learn a little bit more about myself and what I want out of a relationship. However, it’s really easy to become discouraged after a few less than charming boys come my way, but I’ve realized that keeping myself from seeing what’s out there is also keeping me from learning new things about what it is I do want and deserve in life.
My little black heart is going to melt this year. I can feel it.